Bladdy Indian
Wassup la dei. Oh excuse me, that was just a typical Nigga Indian slang. How so appropriately fused in terms of colour…hahhahahhahhaha
You might be thinking what the hell is this Indian dissing his own people. Well, I aint dissing. I’m just making fun of our idiosyncrasies. And mine personally. Just laying down the facts straight. If you’re an Indian, and find this offensive and might not be able to handle it, I suggest you take a hike.
One of the most irritating idiosyncrasies of ours is being late. Very late. Well technically, we’re not late. We are on time. We’re just being very patriotic to our country. You see, our clocks at home, and personal watches are set according to the real time of our hometowns. We’re all following the times of Mumbai, Madras, New Delhi and all the major cities of India. So can you blame us for being late? We’re actually early. On the dot. So, if you want us to be early, understand us. Just set your time according to our hometowns. And we’ll always be early. But you may ask, why can’t we bladdy hell set our times to the local time. Well, we’re Indians. And do you think we’ll follow you?
Alcohol. Ohohoohohoho…..If you want to wake an Indian from a deep slumber, you get an alarm clock that rings, “ Carlsberg! Carlsberg! Carlsberg!’ He’ll be up in an instant with full alert. Yea baby. That’s our ‘water’. Just like how petrol is to a car. And one of my Indian buddy told me this “Before drinking, an Indian has 2 balls.
After drinking he’ll have 3” I can’t remember who was it. But I think I’ll credit this remarkable saying to my late friend, Parveen.
Yes, so if you’re wondering why you see bottles flying across Telawi streets in Bangsar on weekend nights, now you know. You see, we Indians have weird genetics. We were born with a medical disorder. We’re not the same like the rest out there. We have a very bad allergic response to alcohol. We may be able to hold our drinks, but we are suckers in stopping that allergic reaction. Just like how some people are vulnerable to seafood and lactose. They develop rashes, boils and severe itch. But for us, the symptoms are developed internally. All the allergic reactions are channeled to our scrotum where we develop a lump, or in other words a ball. An extra ball that is. And having 3 balls can actually be a pain. It’s irritating and painful. Just like PMS. And how do we let go this pain? We throw tantrums. Just like PMSing females. At the slightest provocation, we explode like a volcano. So you see, because of this medical disorder, we’re always in the bad light.
So now you see. We Indians aren’t that bad after all. We have a reason for all our irritating behaviour. And very valid reasons to it of course. So the next time you have an Indian displaying those idiosyncrasies that actually gets on your nerve, remember what you just read. We are just hapless creatures responding to our natural surrounding in our very own natural way. 100% Indian la dei
You might be thinking what the hell is this Indian dissing his own people. Well, I aint dissing. I’m just making fun of our idiosyncrasies. And mine personally. Just laying down the facts straight. If you’re an Indian, and find this offensive and might not be able to handle it, I suggest you take a hike.
One of the most irritating idiosyncrasies of ours is being late. Very late. Well technically, we’re not late. We are on time. We’re just being very patriotic to our country. You see, our clocks at home, and personal watches are set according to the real time of our hometowns. We’re all following the times of Mumbai, Madras, New Delhi and all the major cities of India. So can you blame us for being late? We’re actually early. On the dot. So, if you want us to be early, understand us. Just set your time according to our hometowns. And we’ll always be early. But you may ask, why can’t we bladdy hell set our times to the local time. Well, we’re Indians. And do you think we’ll follow you?
Alcohol. Ohohoohohoho…..If you want to wake an Indian from a deep slumber, you get an alarm clock that rings, “ Carlsberg! Carlsberg! Carlsberg!’ He’ll be up in an instant with full alert. Yea baby. That’s our ‘water’. Just like how petrol is to a car. And one of my Indian buddy told me this “Before drinking, an Indian has 2 balls.
After drinking he’ll have 3” I can’t remember who was it. But I think I’ll credit this remarkable saying to my late friend, Parveen.
Yes, so if you’re wondering why you see bottles flying across Telawi streets in Bangsar on weekend nights, now you know. You see, we Indians have weird genetics. We were born with a medical disorder. We’re not the same like the rest out there. We have a very bad allergic response to alcohol. We may be able to hold our drinks, but we are suckers in stopping that allergic reaction. Just like how some people are vulnerable to seafood and lactose. They develop rashes, boils and severe itch. But for us, the symptoms are developed internally. All the allergic reactions are channeled to our scrotum where we develop a lump, or in other words a ball. An extra ball that is. And having 3 balls can actually be a pain. It’s irritating and painful. Just like PMS. And how do we let go this pain? We throw tantrums. Just like PMSing females. At the slightest provocation, we explode like a volcano. So you see, because of this medical disorder, we’re always in the bad light.
So now you see. We Indians aren’t that bad after all. We have a reason for all our irritating behaviour. And very valid reasons to it of course. So the next time you have an Indian displaying those idiosyncrasies that actually gets on your nerve, remember what you just read. We are just hapless creatures responding to our natural surrounding in our very own natural way. 100% Indian la dei
posted by kevinvijaya at 10:05 PM
1 Comments:
Nice, espcially coming from someone who's only half indian. if indian's are 'keling' and the chinese are 'chings', then you must be a 'ker-chingg'
Post a Comment
<< Home